Wednesday, April 14, 2010

These Events make Me Sad.....................?

anytime I go to a wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette party or a baby shower.........I get really upset.





I've been with my boyfriend for like 3 years. We aren't ready to get married; financially it's just out of the question. It seems like it's never going to happen. It makes me so upset, I sometimes find myself crying after I attend these events.





What should I do? I feel like these life events and goals are just not in my future.

These Events make Me Sad.....................?
You may feel your time clock is ticking and feel anxious. You feel that everyone is getting married, having kids etc.... except you. This is common and probably why alot of people get married too soon and end up divorced.





My advice. You will never be ready financially to get married so do it when you are emotionally ready. A fancy ceremony is every girls dream but no guarantee of a sucessful union. Try and get your boyfriend to commit to a date or not commit so that you can be sure which direstion you are headed. That way, if you know your date is in the future, you will be more secure about where you are in your life.
Reply:no need to feel bad and u shouldnt. sometimes it's not meant to be. u may be saving yourself a whole lot of trouble. on the other hand.if u want it bad enough u can make it happen. it doesnt take a million to get married.but sometimes it takes a million to get out of one. whatever u do take your time and make sure its exactly what u want.a lot of those things are way over rated honey. when its all over the thrill is gone then your miserable.if u really want to make it simple where it doesnt cost a bunch of money.but remember the whole thing is over rated.
Reply:Of course these things are in your future. You have to do things to make them happen. As far as financially not being able to marry, that's just goofy and a sad excuse not to do it. I'd dump him if he's not willing to move forward with something you truly want in life and maybe it would be best for the both of you to move on. You may not be on the same page as far as goals.
Reply:I think you need to learn to stay in the moment. Quit worrying about what you don't have. If you love your boyfriend, and it seems like you do. Just start enjoying him and sit down together and decide exactly where it is that you both want to go? Set up a budget, make plans to get second jobs for awhile and start making plans to get to where you need to be financially.
Reply:If these events make you sad then don't attentd them. Get a job and pay off your student loans (then remember to not take out a bunch more). As far as your boyfriend, obviousl he doesn't WANT a future with you or else he would be able to save a bit of money since he lives with room mates. The cost of apartment as well as "household" bills should be less than if he were living alone (I live alone and manage to pay my own rent, bills don't feel sad at these events). Obviously you want the party without the responsibities that go with having the parties.
Reply:Stop thinking that these "milestones" will define your life. Stop thinking about all the damned negatives in your life and think about the positive. If you can't do that, you'll never be happy. Get over yourself.
Reply:you cant keep putting yourself though that, if those are things you want then work towards them even if they take a few years to save the money, and remember that a wedding doesnt have to cost 100000000 to last sometimes the simplest ones are the best.
Reply:Be patient. If you two are meant to be together, you will find a way to make it happen. My wife and I were practically destitute prior to our marriage. Our families were also broke and could not contribute either. We opted for a very small wedding in a military chapel and skipped the honeymoon. Total cost of the wedding (including the dress) was less than $1000. Of course, that was 15 years ago, but the point is...if you really want to get married, you can find a venue to fit any budget.
Reply:You yourself said that you are not ready yet, that you need to be more financially stable. I think that it is very intelligent of you to realize this.





Has your boyfriend mentioned getting married? Do you have the same goals for your relationship? As long as you both have the same goals I see no problem with this. My husband and I were engaged for more than three years, waiting for me to finish college so we were stable and were not dependent on one income.





If you do not share the same goals you should really sit down and talk about the relationship and where it is headed.


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